I am pretty broke right now; I have $25 (Christmas present) in cash and about $40 in my pay pal account and absolutely nothing in my checking account. The next three weeks, until I get my disability check, will be mighty bleak unless I do some serious writing--at least three articles a day. Unfortunately, I have NO ambition to write today. I have an ear ache, a sore throat and I can hardly wait to go take a nap. Maybe tonight I can get at least one written while Sunday night football is on. My only appointment for tomorrow--the only reason to leave my house--is a PT appointment in the late morning. I'm going to clean off my desk tomorrow and dig into writing. I set some goals for 2010 last night and wrote them down, so now I need to get prepared.
I saw an ad on tv last night for laser liposuction--no scars, no downtime... I would love to have my teeth fixed and whitened; my teeth are healthy, just a bit chipped and uneven. I always wanted beautiful teeth. A new nose would be nice too. Oh, and breast reduction. It's alright to dream, right? I just try to keep focused on the fact that I will actually have spending money in thirteen months!
I had a wonderful Christmas, and not a lot of stress. We went to our children's homes and took Christmas with us, leaving the mess behind when we left. Christmas morning we opened gifts and Jim made me a wonderful breakfast. Our parents came for dinner and three grandchildren came to spend the night since Santa brought their parents the flu.
My brother Ken, who is also a writer, came for a visit from Massachusetts and stayed with mom. After he left, she didn't know who he was; I hate Alzheimers. I have been taking care of her finances for the past couple of years (as if I don't have enough to do!) The day is coming, probably soon, that she'll have to go live at a care facility for people with Alzheimers; it's getting scary. She recently had another fall; I just can't be there all the time and even the "I've fallen and I can't Get Up" button might not be a help if she can't remember that she has it in an emergency.
Tuesday I should go cash in bottles and cans for some gas money. I should drive out to New Hampshire to see my father, who is nearing his last days. There's probably $20 sitting out in the garage; I call it my savings account.
Enough blabbering--I really need a couple Ibuprofen and a nap.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
No New Debt for Christmas!
My Christmas shopping has been done for almost a week and it feels so good to know I didn't charge a penny of it! I have to admit that it was really hard to not spend tons of money on the grandkids. Yes, I would have loved to buy REAL Barbies for Ivy, a huge doll house for Maggie and Olivia, a Nintendo DS for Hannah and a Wii for all 4 our our grown children, but I had committed myself to spending less this year. When I think about it, really think about it, it's silly to buy tons of gifts; the grandkids get gifts from their parents, aunts and uncles, and their other grandparents--why do I feel as if I have to buy everthing on their lists? When looking back, the gifts that meant the most to me where things that I waited for. I learned patience and the difference between wants and needs-an important lesson in life.
I am very proud (and I HATE that word) that come January, my debt is no larger than it was in December. I am making progess towards my goal, which is very exciting. Patience and persistence is am important lesson but I don't think it is ever mastered, and baby steps ARE important when working towards a goal. I really don't know if one year is considered a long-term or a short-term goal, but in the big picture I am looking at my debt and my goal of being debt-free as being a short-term goal.
Don't make the mistake of believing that this is the first time I've ever been in debt--it's not. I've been in debt, for about the same amount, three times before, yet every time, my husband has stepped in to rescue me. He rescued me out of love, but it wasn't the lasting solution. I ran up debt, he paid it off. Repeat. And again. So here I am again, having learned nothing about restraint. This time, I'm learning about restraint.
I'm not ready yet to carry a credit card in my purse. I guess that might never happen. I know to carry a credit card when I travel to make sure I can get home safely, but day-to-day carrying of a credit card is just not in my credit's best interest at this point. If nothing else, I've learned this.
I'm simply not good with money, and I have often asked myself why. I grew up in a single-parent home. My mom worked her fingers to the bone to keep her 4 children warm, fed and clothed and we rarely had extras. Saturday morning, after her morning shift at the shoe factory, she she buy groceries. IF there was any money left she would go to the local Ben Frankin store (anyone remember Ben Franklin stores?) and would buy freshly cooked redskin peanuts. She would dole them out to us in a small Dixie cup and we would think we had died and gone to heaven. The wonderful thing is that we never knew we were poor. We felt rich and no one ever informed us otherwise. I have since learned that if you have your family, you are rich. Thank God for the blessing of a close family--even to this day, I have wonderfully close relationships with my three older brothers.
In my first marriage, we never really struggled with money. My husband worked as a union boiler-maker summers and college holidays and made good money; we had a budget, but it was in pencil as opposed to pen--if I went over in spending groceries it wasn't a big deal. We didn't save, but we didn't have debt.
I guess I became comfortable with the fact that if I spent more on some facet of the budget, it was always okay. In the period before first husband and second, I had enough money and didn't struggle, so I became accustomed to always being in the black, well, mostly.
Second marriage, four combined children later, money became something more than something to use to buy things. 401k's, savings, CDs, mutual funds and stocks became important, and my dear Jim was SO good at thinking of the future. If it wasn't for him, I would still be living month to month; thanks to him, we have all of the aforementioned. We will have a comfortable retirement, thanks to his forward thinking, which might have to do with his master's degree in economics. I am thankful for him and his foresight.
He (and I) look forward to him being able to retire in a couple of years, so I need to get rid of my personal debt. I picture the days when I can actually write a check for $100 of new clothes. I look forward to going on a trip with enough money in my checking account that I don't have to think about how much "room" I have on my credit card.
One of the best "weapons" I have in my arsenal is a PayPal credit card. What's cool is that it's NOT a credit card--it's actually a debit card. It takes money from my Paypal account, so it's really a debit card, but I get 1% cash back whenever I use it! I log in to view my balance and know that if I have $50, a charge of $51 will be declined.
Tomorrow will be a fun day, making Christmas cookies with one of my granddaughters. We're making Toll House, Peanut Butter, Pumpkin Chocolate Chip and Old Fashioned Molasses. I don't see any money being spent tomorrow, which is one more baby step in the process of becoming debt free!!!
I am very proud (and I HATE that word) that come January, my debt is no larger than it was in December. I am making progess towards my goal, which is very exciting. Patience and persistence is am important lesson but I don't think it is ever mastered, and baby steps ARE important when working towards a goal. I really don't know if one year is considered a long-term or a short-term goal, but in the big picture I am looking at my debt and my goal of being debt-free as being a short-term goal.
Don't make the mistake of believing that this is the first time I've ever been in debt--it's not. I've been in debt, for about the same amount, three times before, yet every time, my husband has stepped in to rescue me. He rescued me out of love, but it wasn't the lasting solution. I ran up debt, he paid it off. Repeat. And again. So here I am again, having learned nothing about restraint. This time, I'm learning about restraint.
I'm not ready yet to carry a credit card in my purse. I guess that might never happen. I know to carry a credit card when I travel to make sure I can get home safely, but day-to-day carrying of a credit card is just not in my credit's best interest at this point. If nothing else, I've learned this.
I'm simply not good with money, and I have often asked myself why. I grew up in a single-parent home. My mom worked her fingers to the bone to keep her 4 children warm, fed and clothed and we rarely had extras. Saturday morning, after her morning shift at the shoe factory, she she buy groceries. IF there was any money left she would go to the local Ben Frankin store (anyone remember Ben Franklin stores?) and would buy freshly cooked redskin peanuts. She would dole them out to us in a small Dixie cup and we would think we had died and gone to heaven. The wonderful thing is that we never knew we were poor. We felt rich and no one ever informed us otherwise. I have since learned that if you have your family, you are rich. Thank God for the blessing of a close family--even to this day, I have wonderfully close relationships with my three older brothers.
In my first marriage, we never really struggled with money. My husband worked as a union boiler-maker summers and college holidays and made good money; we had a budget, but it was in pencil as opposed to pen--if I went over in spending groceries it wasn't a big deal. We didn't save, but we didn't have debt.
I guess I became comfortable with the fact that if I spent more on some facet of the budget, it was always okay. In the period before first husband and second, I had enough money and didn't struggle, so I became accustomed to always being in the black, well, mostly.
Second marriage, four combined children later, money became something more than something to use to buy things. 401k's, savings, CDs, mutual funds and stocks became important, and my dear Jim was SO good at thinking of the future. If it wasn't for him, I would still be living month to month; thanks to him, we have all of the aforementioned. We will have a comfortable retirement, thanks to his forward thinking, which might have to do with his master's degree in economics. I am thankful for him and his foresight.
He (and I) look forward to him being able to retire in a couple of years, so I need to get rid of my personal debt. I picture the days when I can actually write a check for $100 of new clothes. I look forward to going on a trip with enough money in my checking account that I don't have to think about how much "room" I have on my credit card.
One of the best "weapons" I have in my arsenal is a PayPal credit card. What's cool is that it's NOT a credit card--it's actually a debit card. It takes money from my Paypal account, so it's really a debit card, but I get 1% cash back whenever I use it! I log in to view my balance and know that if I have $50, a charge of $51 will be declined.
Tomorrow will be a fun day, making Christmas cookies with one of my granddaughters. We're making Toll House, Peanut Butter, Pumpkin Chocolate Chip and Old Fashioned Molasses. I don't see any money being spent tomorrow, which is one more baby step in the process of becoming debt free!!!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
In the Black
I wrote two articles this morning, so that will take care of the deficit in my checkbook. I seriously need to write two articles ($15 each) every day, but I rarely do it. I long to go back to writing what I want instead of what I have to, but for the time being (one year!) I can do it.
I can really see how writing a daily post will help me stay on track. It really does make me focus on the goal ahead, as well as reminding me that I need to write those pesky articles.
I woke up extra early this morning, so I think a long nap is in order. It's way too cold to go outside today and my quilt is calling my name. Lunch, and then a nap.
I can really see how writing a daily post will help me stay on track. It really does make me focus on the goal ahead, as well as reminding me that I need to write those pesky articles.
I woke up extra early this morning, so I think a long nap is in order. It's way too cold to go outside today and my quilt is calling my name. Lunch, and then a nap.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Reality
I always dread bill-paying day, which is always the 3rd Wednesday of the month, when my disability check is deposted into my account. Last month I set up a spreadsheet and put down all of my bills to create a budget. All of my check goes to bill-paying and groceries. For two people, our grocery bill is crazy even though I use coupons and watch the sales. I try to shop just once a month, which may be the reason I dislike grocery shopping so much.
So this morning, I gathered all the bills, a calculator, pen and pencil and paid my bills, according to the budget I set up last month. My checking account balance is now -6.75. I'll need to transfer some money from my paypal account to cover that and to pay a subscription to Downeast Magazine (which for me is tax-deductible, since I write travel-related articles and a website). I updated my spreadsheet, and tallied the new balances on my accounts. As of today, I have $7,275.00 in debt. Most of it is in two credit cards and my laptop. If I divide that by 12, approximately $610.00 a month will allow me to be debt-free at this time next year. I find that extremely encouraging!
For one year I can forgo Starbucks, lunches out, and even do without buying new clothes. I can do it! I yearn to have this monkey off my back and one year is not a long time--a year zooms by now that I'm older.
I've been thinking about what I can do with an extra $610 a month and I am excited at the prospect. I have always wanted to have my teeth fixed; I can wait a year. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
I write content for websites and the money I make pays for my gas, my trips to the salon to have my hair cut, colored and curled, my traveling expenses when I travel for business and gifts. My health controls how much I can work, so some months it's a nice chunk of change and sometimes it's not a big deal, but it's money I call my own. Once in awhile I sell an article to a magazine--I love seeing those checks come in! Any money I get for articles this year will be put on the credit card with the highest interest rate to get it paid down sooner.
I'm not dreading getting out my checkbook to pay bills now that I have taken a realistic look at my debt and know that it's not impossible to pay it all in one year. If I hadn't spent $30 yesterday for lunch and two blouses, my balance wouldn't be negative right now. Live and learn...
So this morning, I gathered all the bills, a calculator, pen and pencil and paid my bills, according to the budget I set up last month. My checking account balance is now -6.75. I'll need to transfer some money from my paypal account to cover that and to pay a subscription to Downeast Magazine (which for me is tax-deductible, since I write travel-related articles and a website). I updated my spreadsheet, and tallied the new balances on my accounts. As of today, I have $7,275.00 in debt. Most of it is in two credit cards and my laptop. If I divide that by 12, approximately $610.00 a month will allow me to be debt-free at this time next year. I find that extremely encouraging!
For one year I can forgo Starbucks, lunches out, and even do without buying new clothes. I can do it! I yearn to have this monkey off my back and one year is not a long time--a year zooms by now that I'm older.
I've been thinking about what I can do with an extra $610 a month and I am excited at the prospect. I have always wanted to have my teeth fixed; I can wait a year. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
I write content for websites and the money I make pays for my gas, my trips to the salon to have my hair cut, colored and curled, my traveling expenses when I travel for business and gifts. My health controls how much I can work, so some months it's a nice chunk of change and sometimes it's not a big deal, but it's money I call my own. Once in awhile I sell an article to a magazine--I love seeing those checks come in! Any money I get for articles this year will be put on the credit card with the highest interest rate to get it paid down sooner.
I'm not dreading getting out my checkbook to pay bills now that I have taken a realistic look at my debt and know that it's not impossible to pay it all in one year. If I hadn't spent $30 yesterday for lunch and two blouses, my balance wouldn't be negative right now. Live and learn...
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Crunch Time!
Tomorrow is my normal bill-paying day. I am disabled with fibromyalgia and get a monthly check from Uncle Sam on the third wednesday of every month. I also write web content, which works perfectly for me. When I don't feel up to it, I don't write. Simple. When I don't write, I don't have any extra money. Ouch.
I will be posting all of my credit card balances when I sit down with my bills tomorrow. I'm doing this on my own, without help from a credit counseling service. I also have some medical bills that need to be budgeted for. I'll lay out my budget and my plan for paying it off completely in 2010. Then I will crawl under my covers and have a good cry.
I'm going to be as honest and open as I can throughout this struggle and openly share my feelings of failure, success and who knows what else.
I hope you'll come along for my journey--I sure could use some company!
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