My Christmas shopping has been done for almost a week and it feels so good to know I didn't charge a penny of it! I have to admit that it was really hard to not spend tons of money on the grandkids. Yes, I would have loved to buy REAL Barbies for Ivy, a huge doll house for Maggie and Olivia, a Nintendo DS for Hannah and a Wii for all 4 our our grown children, but I had committed myself to spending less this year. When I think about it, really think about it, it's silly to buy tons of gifts; the grandkids get gifts from their parents, aunts and uncles, and their other grandparents--why do I feel as if I have to buy everthing on their lists? When looking back, the gifts that meant the most to me where things that I waited for. I learned patience and the difference between wants and needs-an important lesson in life.
I am very proud (and I HATE that word) that come January, my debt is no larger than it was in December. I am making progess towards my goal, which is very exciting. Patience and persistence is am important lesson but I don't think it is ever mastered, and baby steps ARE important when working towards a goal. I really don't know if one year is considered a long-term or a short-term goal, but in the big picture I am looking at my debt and my goal of being debt-free as being a short-term goal.
Don't make the mistake of believing that this is the first time I've ever been in debt--it's not. I've been in debt, for about the same amount, three times before, yet every time, my husband has stepped in to rescue me. He rescued me out of love, but it wasn't the lasting solution. I ran up debt, he paid it off. Repeat. And again. So here I am again, having learned nothing about restraint. This time, I'm learning about restraint.
I'm not ready yet to carry a credit card in my purse. I guess that might never happen. I know to carry a credit card when I travel to make sure I can get home safely, but day-to-day carrying of a credit card is just not in my credit's best interest at this point. If nothing else, I've learned this.
I'm simply not good with money, and I have often asked myself why. I grew up in a single-parent home. My mom worked her fingers to the bone to keep her 4 children warm, fed and clothed and we rarely had extras. Saturday morning, after her morning shift at the shoe factory, she she buy groceries. IF there was any money left she would go to the local Ben Frankin store (anyone remember Ben Franklin stores?) and would buy freshly cooked redskin peanuts. She would dole them out to us in a small Dixie cup and we would think we had died and gone to heaven. The wonderful thing is that we never knew we were poor. We felt rich and no one ever informed us otherwise. I have since learned that if you have your family, you are rich. Thank God for the blessing of a close family--even to this day, I have wonderfully close relationships with my three older brothers.
In my first marriage, we never really struggled with money. My husband worked as a union boiler-maker summers and college holidays and made good money; we had a budget, but it was in pencil as opposed to pen--if I went over in spending groceries it wasn't a big deal. We didn't save, but we didn't have debt.
I guess I became comfortable with the fact that if I spent more on some facet of the budget, it was always okay. In the period before first husband and second, I had enough money and didn't struggle, so I became accustomed to always being in the black, well, mostly.
Second marriage, four combined children later, money became something more than something to use to buy things. 401k's, savings, CDs, mutual funds and stocks became important, and my dear Jim was SO good at thinking of the future. If it wasn't for him, I would still be living month to month; thanks to him, we have all of the aforementioned. We will have a comfortable retirement, thanks to his forward thinking, which might have to do with his master's degree in economics. I am thankful for him and his foresight.
He (and I) look forward to him being able to retire in a couple of years, so I need to get rid of my personal debt. I picture the days when I can actually write a check for $100 of new clothes. I look forward to going on a trip with enough money in my checking account that I don't have to think about how much "room" I have on my credit card.
One of the best "weapons" I have in my arsenal is a PayPal credit card. What's cool is that it's NOT a credit card--it's actually a debit card. It takes money from my Paypal account, so it's really a debit card, but I get 1% cash back whenever I use it! I log in to view my balance and know that if I have $50, a charge of $51 will be declined.
Tomorrow will be a fun day, making Christmas cookies with one of my granddaughters. We're making Toll House, Peanut Butter, Pumpkin Chocolate Chip and Old Fashioned Molasses. I don't see any money being spent tomorrow, which is one more baby step in the process of becoming debt free!!!
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